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English Humour
Goethe's Tolerance
Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.
歌德的容忍
一次,歌德正在魏玛一个公园的一条狭窄小道上散步。碰巧遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。两人都停了下来,彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道:“我从来不给傻瓜让路。” “可我会。”说完歌德退到了一边。
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Reached Shore Fast
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
快速靠岸
在休伦湖钓完鱼后,我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机,不过,他想,也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是,他爬到他的船里面,启动了无线装置,喊道,“求救,求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应,“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路,Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后,警官问我的朋友,“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”
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A Mistake
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
搞错了
一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里,他们遇到醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样。”
“成交!”美国人说。他立即发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。
“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道。
那名美国人说:“我离开之前,我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”
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